I turn 30 Tomorrow (7th of September)... Thirty?! How did that happen?!
Big birthdays are the perfect time to take stock of where we have been, celebrate our wins and treat ourselves. So today, I am doing just that. I am reflecting on my life over the last 10 years and the lessons I have learned along the way.
My 20’s have been somewhat of a rollercoaster and probably the biggest learning curve in my life. I have had A LOT of experiences (both positive and negative) and experimented a lot in my professional life. All the successes, failures and lessons have led me to this point- to the '30 years old' version of me who is so much wiser, happier, healthier and contented.
Here are 5 main life Lessons my twenties have taught me:
1.You Have an Element of Control Over Your Future
When I was 25 years old, I experienced what I refer to as a ‘mini mid-life crisis’. My personal life was great but my professional life was pretty much in shambles. Even with a degree in Finance and Management Science, I was completely lost and wasn't sure what direction to take. Unlike many others who feel they don’t have many options, I felt the opposite…I felt I had too many options! I asked myself over and over again: “Which choice do I make?” “What if I made the wrong choice?". Reading the ‘Success Principles’ book by ‘Jack Canfield’ changed my life. He talks about the fact that we all have an element of control over our lives and we can easily create the life we want (to a certain extent) by setting goals and working towards them in a way that produces positive results. At the that time, this was my only hope and I was going to give it a go.
I remember creating a ‘moodboard’ of what I wanted my life to be like in both my personal and professional life. This kept me focused; recognising opportunities and working on projects that brought me closer to my goals and the life I had envisioned for myself. The Pictures on the moodboard ranged from representations of me being a stylist, working with both men and women (I wasn’t working with men at the time!), working in shopping centres, doing presentations, writing a style book, having children, living in my dream house, etc. Looking back now, I have actually achieved ALL of the things I had on that moodboard! So, I am essentially living proof that you certainly do have an element of control over your life and you can start creating the future you want today!
2. Don’t Settle For Less Than You Deserve
Before I met my now husband; Kevin, I had been on plenty of dates; some good and some bad. You see, I was very clear about what I wanted in a man. The truth is, my dad set a great example of what a great husband and father should be. He was confident, enthusiastic, independent, kind, caring and treated my mum with so much love and respect. With this image imprinted on me, I navigated the world of relationships looking for these qualities in every man I had a relationship with. If a man didn’t match up to at least a few of these qualities, I would leave the relationship. I just couldn’t physically settle for less and would not stand for someone who was abusive in anyway. I am not saying I am perfect by any means, but I do try my absolute best to treat others how I would like to be treated.
When I met Kevin, everything changed. I saw in him a glimpse of the type of person my dad was and I knew he was a keeper. Kevin and I have been married for 5 years now. We have had our ups and downs, but ultimately, he is my best friend and I couldn’t think of anyone else I could have shared my life with. Not settling for less than I deserve has paid off a thousand times over because my life is so much better sharing it with someone who cares about me as much as I do about him. We now have a gorgeous one year old son whom we adore and love more than anything in the world! So, remember, you deserve better, always and the right person for you is just round the corner, if you are willing to bot settle for less than you deserve.
3. Your Intuition Is Always Right
I am naturally very intuitive… I can read people like an open book! My intuition is a really important part of me and I use it to navigate this world as much as possible. It has never failed me, ever! My mind on the other hand has failed me plenty of times, because sometimes, problems simply cannot be solved with bare logic. Logic has it’s limits.
We all have a gut feeling (what I call intuition). It is a God-given gift. Your intuition tells you (in form of feelings) whether you are making the right or wrong decision or whether the situation you find yourself in is positive or negative. Lets put it this way- The times I haven’t listened to my intuition, things have gone disastrously wrong for me and when I have listened, good things have happened. So I keep listening and using my intuition as my inner compass to navigate the world. We all have this gift, so remember to trust your intuition more. Oh, and never mistake intuition for fear!
4. The Bad Times Wont Last Forever
We all go through rough patches in life, be it emotionally, physically or even financially. I remember my first three months of pregnancy were a nightmare! Once or twice I felt like giving up on everything. I just couldn’t handle the effect my hormones were having on my body. I struggled to work, exercise, or do anything but lie in bed. In times like these, we feel like we don’t have the strength to go on and feel like the situation will last forever.
The truth is, no matter how bad it gets, it can only get better. Infact, you really do need the bad times to appreciate and cherish the good times. So when the going gets tough, accept the situation and just do the best you can at the time. Remember to ask for help or talk to someone to help relieve the burden. Sooner or later, the sun will shine again and the bad experience will be nothing but a distant memory. That’s why women can have more than one child and think nothing of it….we forget what we went through during childbirth and pregnancy!
5.Invest In Yourself
Knowledge is power, but the right knowledge can be life changing. A few years back, I invested some time and money in learning more about style, colour, health and beauty as part of my Diploma in Image Consulting and Personal Styling. This knowledge has changed my life for the better. By learning about Style and Colour, I have been able to transform my own style and wardrobe whilst saving myself lots of time and money. I feel I have much more control, confidence and creativity in what I wear and how I wear it. Better still, I do this effortlessly! This means I have much more time, energy and money to put towards other, more important areas of my life whilst looking and feeling good about myself. I am so much better at looking after my body (skincare, diet and exercise) and my make-up skills have improved dramatically. I am not perfect, but I am learning every day.The results have been so dramatic that I am now really passionate about sharing and teaching anyone (who will listen) everything I know on this topic; that’s what I do at Style me Flawless.
Since improving these areas, I feel so much better within myself and this has translated into other parts of my life where I am much more confident, happier and healthier. This makes life so much more enjoyable. The lesson here invest your time and money on something that you think will dramatically change your life (long term) and learn the skills to achieve excellence in that field. Knowledge and skill are so much better than wasting money on ‘Things’ that are replaceable.
What have the last 10 years of your life taught you?
Lets see what my thirties have in store for me…
Happy birthday to me! :-)
Until next time,